He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
