Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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