my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
