You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
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