the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I can't turn off my feet"
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
