K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Your dad touched me again.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
