Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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