Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
