Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize