i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Drunk is a universal language darling
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
