I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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