mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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