accomplished twins. life is a go
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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