I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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