UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
We smell like vodka and hangover
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