No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Randomize
