So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
