What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I see more hoeing in ur future
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize