yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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