I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
