You're so nebulous sometimes
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
