i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Still dying that you shit outside
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
