This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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