I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
