Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
