I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
