bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize