ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize