Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
