her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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