So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
