so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
