don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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