Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
The chlamydia really affected his face.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
