I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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