so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
