she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
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