My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
