So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
You made out with two different species that night
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Randomize
