she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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