i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
