no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Randomize
