Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
