why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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