piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I got chris browned last night
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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