Do you still have your period?
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize
