yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
What drink are we having for lunch?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
