We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
