I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
