im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
