I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize