He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I wear drunk well.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
