I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
