Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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