Taylor Swift is so right about you.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
