I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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