I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
