maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
