wrigley field is MILF paradise
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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