Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
