Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
